My older, wiser sister with 3 kids told my pregnant self "wait til you have this kid, you will feel like your heart is walking outside of you." I didn't really get what she meant. Of course i'll love my baby, who doesn't (casey anthony)? It was only until I had my baby that the reality of what she said hit hard. I have to admit, the second he was born I was in too much of a daze to understand what happened but shortly after and every day since then it feels as if the love just grows more and more intense, if thats even possible.
My baby bumped his head really hard for the first time yesterday and I thought my life was over. Is he ok? Can I put him down for a nap? Should we go to the hospital and get a catscan? Why is he touching the back of his head? He looks pale, the bump is getting bigger. Is he in pain? I just held him and we watched Sesame Street for an hour. I kept looking down at him thinking that this little person has my whole heart, my whole life would be over in a second if anything happened to him. The feelings are overwhelming.
I asked my mother with seven kids how she functions or even sleeps at night. Does it get easier as they get older, do you just have to not think about the fragility of life and trudge along with your daily routine? Does being a parent mean not only being able to reap the positive benefits of having a child but a lifetime of endless worrying and sleepless nights? How do you cope?
You don't cope. You just don't worry. Trust in G-d and think positive. If you keep thinking something bad will happen than it just might. Stay positive, enjoy life and don't worry when there is no reason too!
ReplyDeleteI don't think it ever goes away or gets better (my mom of 9 says it never has and she a 34 yo son) but I think you learn how to deal with it and how to keep the worrying/anxiety tucked away for times when you need it ex: baby hitting his head....
ReplyDeleteJust enjoy the smiley happy moments and dot think about ne thing else